This time of year is when we all come together and wish each other well, or try to. What happens when, during a family gathering, old resentments and hurt feelings are suddenly just there? Can we escape? Is seeing another person the end of our desire to be with others and enjoy talking, doing? Yes, this does happen. To me, to the person next to me, etc. It doesn’t happen all the time, and I’m glad I don’t focus on this most of the year. But November and December are difficult months for those of us who have had overwhelming emotional upheaval (death of a significant other, move, trauma, chronic pain, loss) this past year. The ‘family’ gatherings that are a focal point of most celebrations carry sadness, isolation and fear.
Our families may be made of siblings, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, etc. or of those people who are not relatives (friends, neighbors, community members). Are we certain of fitting in to either picture. What if we do not? Is the feeling of isolation one that we must endure?
The question is, do you push yourself and suggest to others who seem to be part of the isolated to join you? Or, do you avoid those who appear to be alone? Do we have that type of courage?
It comes down to the choice – do we feel better when we give of ourselves, or do we feel better when accepting an offer? I have been in both situations. And, I enjoy the giving of myself, and my time. I receive greater emotional satisfaction when I have made someone else’s life a bit better. And what I have done may not be noticeable to many, but it’s made a difference to me.
That’s what we hope for. That we mean something to another, we have an emotional support or bond with another. This makes us human, and one of those who receive gratification at the holiday time of year.